On-Call

So I was walking through Penn Station this morning and saw this guy in this get up - hence the photo. I am guessing it has something to do with tax day today - but am not sure?! You know being English and all!

I woke up this morning and L looked adorable - as much as she denies it. She had her arms up above her head, hands curled up, in a similar way to how babies sleep. Absolutely loved it. I love waking up before her and snuggling with her for a while watching her sleep. Its my favourite, just wish I could do it for always.

Every few months, L is on call for the week for work. She got her schedule today, and she goes on call the day I fly out to the UK. Usually when she finds out her schedule she will message me to check if we have anything on, in case she needs to swap with one of her colleagues. It made me so sad, I nearly cried at my desk. I actually had to leave and walk away to get my feelings back in control. I hate talking about that date, was very nearly sick and asked L not to talk to me about it. I know that I should not avoid the subject but for I just want to lie to myself for a little while longer. She doesn't want to talk about it either. I really wish there was miracle out there for us. And I know I am being selfish because there are thousands of other people in our situation but right now all I care about is L. I just want to make L happy and never ever make her sad. But I know this is making her sad, but she is actually being the stronger of the two.

I hate how I have to go on with my day at work pretending everything is fine in front of my boss.

ps. L said she is going to edit my blog as there are far too many spelling and grammar mistakes! Got to love her for that :)