Ha Ha not what you guys think!!! Ever since I came to the US I wanted to go see the Rocky statue in Philly ... and I finally did yesterday! It amazes me that L will do anything to make sure everything I want to do happens. She amazes me. It was a great day, we hung out .. in the rain with friends. I saw Philly and ran up the stairs (I also won!) and had my pic taken with Rocky.
As always I forget that in less than a week I am going to have to return to the UK. Through no fault of my own - and I can not stay even though I desperately wish I could. I wish I could wake up every morning with L as I have been for the last month. In some ways it been the greatest month of my life, I get to go to sleep with her, see her before she goes to work, am there when she gets back. However it has also been the worst month, knowing that I have to return very soon.
I spoke to my mother on Friday and she is super excited that I am returning back to the UK but she doesn't know how this is all tearing me up inside. Sometimes I wish I could bury my head in the sand and hide. I hate what this is doing to me, and obviously what it is doing to L. We are both trying to be strong, and we go on with our days as if nothing huge is going to happen on Friday. I woke up this morning about to say, 'hey what are we doing next weekend?' when I remembered that next Sunday I will be waking up in the UK! I can't wait to see my family, but evertime I went back to the UK before I knew I was heading back to the US and seeing L. I wonder if when she started seeing me she realised that me having to leave was likely? And sometimes I wonder if she thinks this is all worth while. I know I am going to try my hardest to return and be with the person I chose to love.
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